Ego based love creates an illusionary armor that suffocates and cuts us off. The self obsessed me that renders us so unspeakably lonely, stripped of the feelings of belonging and connection. The irony is that first we imagine our separation from others, then we spend our precious lives trying and failing to bridge this false divide.
Instead of the doomed attempt to ‘complete’ ourselves through another person (the ego being chronically hungry & unworthy) spiritual relationships hinge on the knowledge that we are all whole. We forget that we are already this wholeness, this love that we seek outside ourselves. We share the same last name, GOD!
Infatuation, the need to control, confusing love with worry, ensnaring someone as special, demanding that love be earned, trying to change anothers behavior, becoming addicted to someones presence, wanting to punish others for disappointment and ultimately the fear of losing someone or yourself – these are signs that ego rather than heart are driving a relationship.
By learning to navigate our mental terrain through the commitment to practicing self awareness, we’re better able to chose how we think about the world around us. Realize that we underestimate our capacity to love. Love never hurts. Its nearly always our interpretation of what happened that causes pain.
The purpose of relationships is to cultivate our own true nature and support others in finding theirs – MINDFUL LOVING! (Henry Grayson)